It is important to realize holidays will look and feel different and also that grief is a unique experience and will be processed differently by each family member. It is important to respect one another’s differences and to make a plan together. It may be helpful for each person to answer, “What is one thing I need this holiday?” and then allow other traditions to be changed.
Possible alternative: Rather than a full turkey dinner with all the trimmings, order takeout.
To honour your loved one, use healing rituals and activities. Make a memory book; light a candle; make your loved one’s favourite dish; have a special item made from his or her clothing; choose a gift he or she would have wanted and give it to someone who will cherish it; attend a community commemorative event. (See “upcoming events” on the Hospice Orillia website.)
Don’t forget the children. One of the common misconceptions is kids are “too young” to understand or be a part of the dying and/or grief process. Author Linda Goldman, in her book Life and Loss, writes: “If a child is old enough to love, he or she is old enough to grieve.” One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the chance to cope emotionally with seasons of change.
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