Author: Dr Sushma Bhatnagar (President of the Indian Association of Palliative Care; Founder of the Cancer Treatment Centre (CTC) project for Pain Free India)
Dr Cynthia Goh, a mentor, a teacher, an extraordinary human being and a friend, is no more! However, her teaching and legacy will remain forever.
If we ourselves cannot accept this eventuality, what right do we have this to explain our patients and their relatives?
Born in 1949 at Hong Kong, Cynthia completed her medical school at London and married Dr Goh, a famous colorectal surgeon, at Singapore.
I had the opportunity to spend a day with both of them, at their home in Singapore. The companionship, spending time with Cynthia and her husband, and enjoying a scrumptious and an absolutely healthy lunch together, is a memory that I will cherish forever.
Cynthia is a pioneer of Palliative care services at Singapore. She also dedicated all of her time and energy to develop palliative care services across the Asia Pacific region.
I knew Cynthia professionally, for over 2 decades. We became dear friends in 2016, when we conceptualized and initiated the Cancer Treatment Centre (CTC) Program in India, with the support of learned and expert faculty mainly from India and a few from overseas. Now fond memories, the times in which we all worked hard to develop and create sustainable palliative care programs in institutions across the country, is something I will cherish! We were both overwhelmed that within no time, the CTC program had gathered momentum and the structured palliative care program was being implemented in over 45 institutions spread across India.
The CTC Team
From 2016-2019, we worked hard and chased our dreams to initiate dedicated palliative care services in 100 institutions in India. It is so true, that “Man proposes and God disposes”. In 2019, the global palliative care and health care community received a huge bolt when we learnt that Cynthia was diagnosed with Ca Pancreas.
She underwent surgery and chemotherapy. A time came, when she realized that she was not going to be cured.
From then on, she spent her time judiciously, by shifting roles and got actively involved in sharing her knowledge with the whole world by getting involved in innumerable teaching programs. She also began spending time with her loved ones.
I still vividly remember one of our phone calls in which she told me that she had limited time and was therefore going to meet her son and his family at Ireland, while she could still travel.
Upon her return from Ireland, her treating palliative care physicians, whom she had taught and empowered, created a system for her to ensure a dignified end for her. They honoured her wishes and provided her with extraordinary care at her home during her sunset days. She then passed away, peacefully, at home, surrounded by family members after celebrating chines new year with all of them.
I lost a dear friend and a colleague; while the world lost a Hero, a champion, an advocate and a wonderful human being!
I would like to share with you all below, the last message I received from Cynthia on 3rd February, 2022. Like every other message or interaction with her, even this message was rich with knowledge as she continued to teach and empower me, as she does with everyone else. When I requested permission to share the photograph she had sent along with the message, she said, “I’d be happy for you to share the picture with the group. Tell them I love them & I miss them”, to which I said “Thank you and take care”. This was our last communication.
Dr Cynthia along with her family
I kept waiting for a response which I now realize, that I would never get. On 13th February, 2022, Dr Cynthia Goh, left us all and proceeded to her heavenly abode.
I’m certain that several of you must be missing her because of different memories.
She was a living legend who taught us innumerable things including key points about providing dignity in end of life.
Dr Cynthia, Rest in peace! You have been working very hard since, and for so very long. I assure you that we will continue to work hard towards fufilling your dream and spread your teachings to all those who are in need of palliative care in India and in the South East Asian region. We will continue our endeavour to “Create a system where one wants to die!”.
Dear Sushma,
Thank you for your kind wishes!
Indeed I have seen another miracle. I had not realized how much pain I was in until I was able to achieve being pain free. The intrathecal catheter was inserted on the 19 Jan, exactly 2 weeks ago. I had not realized that it takes a week or more to get the dose right. They tried bupivacaine with a small dose of fentanyl 1st, but I could not tolerate that. So they switched to pure bupivacaine before I went home. I then suffered the most horrible opioid withdrawal, nightmares to hell & back. I used bupivacaine boluses, but they were not good enough. Then he added a low dose of clonidine with the bupivacaine IT. First, it changed the character of the pain, & also the location, but not the severity. It took 3-4 days to settle.
Then miraculously, the night before New Year’s Eve, I managed to get a good night’s sleep. On New Year’s Eve, I managed to join in the Reunion dinner, the most important family occasion of the year. After a 2nd good night’s sleep, I was able to join the family photo on New Year’s Day.
What a saga & just in time!
I have continued to improve. Every day is a treasure. What a lesson I have learnt!
I want to share with you my journey – that there is a delay to the effect of the IT drugs, & the effect may get worse before it gets better.
Dear Sushma, there is so much more to learn!
I’ll send the precious photos. Wishing you & your family good health & the strength & vitality of the Tiger on this Year of the Tiger
With love,
Cynthia
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