“My mum Linda lived a great life and had a big impact on a lot of people. She had lots of very close friends who she cherished and who brought her genuine happiness. She was a kind and warm-hearted person and she taught me that you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Mum had been a constant throughout the whole of my life, supporting me every step of the way.
She was a hairdresser passionate about forging strong relationships with her clients. Whenever they came into the salon, they would talk about their lives and their families with her. She made every person who came in feel special.
When mum told me she had pancreatic cancer a year ago, it was very difficult to take. But her positive attitude was infectious and she took us all with her in thinking “what will be will be.” In the meantime, we all agreed to make the most of the time we had together.
She was determined to fight the cancer and so a few months later she braved the surgery to have her pancreas out. Unfortunately, this did not get rid of the cancer and she got progressively more unwell.
When mum was first admitted to Ashgate Hospicecare it was really hard for us, but we knew that this was the best place for her. She was in a lot of pain at that point and so we knew that she needed specialist hospice care.
On every one of the occasions I visited mum at the hospice, I was made to feel very welcome. The staff were always attentive to my needs as well as mum’s. One moment I remember in particular was when I sat in the reception area reading my book, giving mum a bit of rest from visitors, and one of the reception staff made me a cup of tea. The same scenario occurred a few days later and the same lady came up to me and said, “Strong tea with no sugar?” I nodded and two minutes later she came back through with the drink.
Another thing that was very important to me was that the doctors would always look me in the eye whenever they were giving information. They understood the impact the information they were giving could have on me and they came across as very honest and caring.
Although mum was in pain, she was made as comfortable as possible and that was thanks to the people here. So much time was given to help readjust her position on the bed, to listen to her and to understand how she was feeling. The staff did all they could to make things better for her. Mum wanted her family and close friends around her and, whenever it was possible, they helped to make that happen.
She lost her appetite whilst she was there, but she did enjoy the lemon sorbets. Even if it was not on the menu that day, the staff did what they could to try and find one for her.
About 250 people came to the service we had for her life; a testament to the strong friendships that she made. My brother and I spoke about the good times and the life lessons that mum had taught us. As people were leaving the church they told us that they could not agree more with what we had said, and told us lots of amazing stories about my mum that really resonated with them.
Although I miss mum today and have missed her every day since November, I feel very lucky to have had 38 years with her and for that I am hugely grateful. The world is quieter and less colourful without her.
Her legacy for me is to always believe in myself and be courageous, to regularly go beyond my comfort zone and be the best I can possibly be. That is why I am running the London Marathon. It will be very challenging, but I want to do it to prove to myself that I ca, and I want to do it for my mum.
I want to raise as much money as possible so that every family who needs hospice care can get it. It is important for me to do this as a small gesture of thanks to every member of staff who helped to care for mum and for being so kind to us. We want to say thanks for treating mum with great care and respect, for their efforts and attention. I know that by raising this money I am helping to ensure that others can receive such excellent care. In the circumstances, you could not wish for more for your mum.
For more information visit Dan’s JustGiving page
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