This Grief Awareness Week, Ben and Jake Parsons, 22-year-old twins from Newton Abbot,
are opening up about the devastating loss of their stepdad, Paul Holmes, and the
incredible support they received from Rowcroft Hospice during the most challenging time
of their lives.
Paul, a celebrated local football legend known for his time with Torquay
United, passed away earlier this year at the hospice following a diagnosis of bowel cancer,
leaving behind a family determined to honour his memory.
“Losing Dad is the worst thing that’s ever happened to us,” says Ben. “I often wonder how
we’re going to get through without him. But I’ve realised that I’ve just got to get on with
life, and try and carry on as normally as possible.”
The twins are full of praise for the exceptional care Paul received from Rowcroft Hospice.
Initially supported at home by the hospice’s Community Team, Paul later spent his final
weeks in Rowcroft’s specialist Inpatient Unit in Torquay.
“There’s no price you can put on the care we received,” said Jake. “Rowcroft didn’t just
care for Dad; they cared for us as a family. They made us feel at ease and supported us
through every step. We don’t know what we would have done without them.”
As the brothers navigate their first milestones without their father, including the
forthcoming Christmas and new year, they reflect on their grief and the importance of
talking about feelings of loss.
“The first milestones without Dad will always be the hardest,” said Jake. “This Christmas
will be no exception. It’s never going to be easy, but it’s about how we deal with it
mentally. This Christmas, we’ll all be getting together as a family as usual. It’s going to be
tough with Dad missing, but we’ll be sure to keep his memory alive.”
“For us, the key has been talking about it – being open and honest about how we feel,”
said Ben. “We’re lucky that we’re really close as a family, and we’ve got lots of friends
who are there for us too.
“Men often struggle to confront their grief, but I’ve realised that half the battle is talking
about it. It’s so important to speak up. We’ve been lucky to have each other to lean on,
and that’s helped us keep going. It’s not good to sit there and dwell on things alone.
“Hiding your feelings is the worst thing you can do. It’s so important to let people know
how you’re feeling; otherwise you can’t always get help. As men we sometimes feel judged
or weak for opening up, but nine times out of ten, people are happy to help. That’s a
lesson I’ve learned.”
In the six months since Paul’s passing, Ben, Jake and the rest of the family have
channelled their grief into action through a range of fundraising initiatives, raising an
impressive £13,000 for Rowcroft.
“We needed a way to give back,” said Jake. “Dad was so grateful for the care he received
from the hospice and he wanted to do some fundraising. He was so driven – but sadly ran
out of time. So we’re stepping up on his behalf to give something back. Rowcroft helped
us so much, and we want them to be able to help other families in our situation.”
To honour their dad and support the hospice, Ben and Jake are taking part in The Big
Tackle on Saturday 15 March 2025. This flagship fundraising event involves an eight-mile
walk around Torquay, starting and finishing at Torquay Rugby Club, with participants
walking in memory of their loved ones while raising vital funds for the hospice.
“Taking part in The Big Tackle will be a way of celebrating Dad’s life while ensuring other
families receive the care we did,” said Jake.
Every pound raised through events like The Big Tackle supports Rowcroft in providing care
to more than 2,500 patients and their loved ones annually across South Devon. The hospice
is currently facing significant financial challenges, including rising costs, reduced
charitable giving, and limited government funding, all amid an increasing demand for end-
of-life care.
To participate in The Big Tackle or for more information, visit thebigtackle.org.uk.
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Cover Photo: Football legend Paul Holmes was known for his time with Torquay United.
Pictured here at the pitch with step-sons Jake (left) and Ben (right) when they
were children.
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About Rowcroft Hospice
It takes time, compassion, medical expertise and money to help patients with life-limiting
illnesses and their loved ones to make the most of every day, but every year Rowcroft
Hospice helps around 2,500 people in South Devon to do just that.
By providing comfort, support and specialist services, the hospice enables families to
share precious and joyful moments when they are needed most – whether it’s a beautiful
wedding, remarkable reunion, simple thank you or gentle cuddle.
From Dartmouth to Dawlish and up onto Dartmoor, Rowcroft cares for 80% of its patients
in their own homes with a team of community nurse specialists, social workers, and
bereavement volunteers. The team also provides occupational therapy, physiotherapy,
complementary therapy, spiritual care and music therapy, delivering a holistic approach
tailored to individual needs.
Day and night, Rowcroft’s award-winning Hospice at Home team provide free specialist
support to patients at home in their last few of weeks of life. The team helps to monitor
and manage symptoms to enable patients to be comfortable and also offers support for
loved ones, enabling carers to take much needed breaks. The service includes a dedicated
telephone support line 24 hrs a day.
In Rowcroft’s 12-bedded Inpatient Unit in Torquay, the hospice’s team provides specialist
care for patients whose complex needs cannot be met at home. Along with high quality
health and social care, we also offer delicious homecooked meals and access to our
beautiful gardens. The welcoming and homely environment helps patients and families to
make the most of precious time together.
Rowcroft is an independent charity with around 75% of its funding derived from the
incredible generosity of local people. The hospice team fully acknowledges the current
challenging economic climate and is grateful for the local community’s continued support
through these tough times; every pound raised makes a real difference.With an increasingly ageing local population, the demand for Rowcroft’s care has never
been greater. The charity currently cares for around one in three people with life-limiting
illnesses across South Devon and has ambitious plans to expand its care to reach more
people.
For more information, please visit www.rowcrofthospice.org.uk
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