As her health deteriorated and I retired from my job in 2001, the role evolved into becoming her primary guardian. Although I have two siblings, one younger and one older, due to family circumstances at the time, it fell upon me to take the reins. Over time, I was able to rely on help from both my sister and brother. My career as teacher and nurturer of young children had afforded me the skills to adapt quite easily into senior care. However, the job of caregiver requires one to make a very unselfish commitment of your time. You must juggle any travel arrangements and personal hobbies around your care giving duties. The most challenging part of my current situation would be to juggle my time between my mother’s needs and those of the rest of my family. Time constraints are an even greater issue now, having recently been blessed with two new grandchildren, one of whom I baby-sit regularly two days a week. The desire to travel to visit the other one is also an issue. Her acceptance into long-term care took almost a year. She initially had to be cared for in an interim facility which was adequate but old and cramped. She is now in a permanent facility with totally dedicated and compassionate care-givers. However, it is also old and scheduled to close in the future and the hard-working staff is greatly appreciative of any assistance from family and volunteers. The transition from home to hospital to full-time care was not a smooth one. Family had to be vigilant and constantly advocate to make it happen. The process has often been very time-consuming and quite stressful.
Although it has been a challenging situation, I would probably react the same way, given similar circumstances. My up-bringing and the nature of motherhood would dictate my actions. Unfortunately, already being in my sixties and putting personal aspirations aside for an elusive time in the future, sometimes makes the role of care-giver challenging and somewhat bitter-sweet. My advice would be to always try to make time for yourself and reach out to others for any possible assistance to meet the challenge.
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