In Loving Memory; En chère mémoire de

Mary McPherson, PharmD, Ph.D., Professor and Executive Director, Post-Graduate Advanced Education in Palliative Care,University of Maryland:

“I am very saddened to hear of the passing of Dr. Bernard Lapointe. Even though I didn’t get to see him often, he was one of my favorite people—always so interesting to talk to, so engaging, and so brilliant. He was quick to agree to help with anything you asked of him. He was a giant in palliative care and will be sorely missed.”

Jeff Moat, CEO, Pallium Canada:

“As one of our cherished past Board members, Bernard Lapointe really made a difference in our work in Québec and was a good friend who I bounced things off of all the time. I am terribly saddened by this news.”

Judith Seidman, Senator, Canada:

“What an incredibly beautiful human being was Bernard. I can hardly bring myself to say ‘was’. I first met him in 2015 in Ottawa when the Canadian ‘assistance in dying’ legislation was being studied in the Senate. True to form, Bernard engaged me in long discussions about palliative care and we became good friends evermore. A truly gentle man of great wisdom, Bernard was always ready to share in important and challenging discussions. Our regular conversations and meetings over these years always included social policy but never ignored philosophy and spirituality, his devoted care for his work and colleagues at McGill, foodie talk, and always his dear Roc. And, I am ever grateful for Bernard’s calm support the day my husband died. My sincerest condolences to Roc and his family. May Bernard’s memory be a blessing.

Gavin Fernandes, husband of the late Teresa Dellar:

“I just wanted to send along a picture of Bernard with my late wife, Teresa Dellar. It was on this trip to Banff that he and Teresa became close and when they met and befriended David Praill (Hospice UK, St. Christopher’s). The photo is circa 2016. In the picture, L-R: Bernard, Rose DeAngelis, Leslie Mitchell, Nancy Ward, Teresa Dellar.”

Olivia Ngyuen, M.D., CIUSSS:

“À l’automne 2022, j’ai eu la chance et le privilège de discuter avec Dr Lapointe de sa vision du futur des soins palliatifs. Voici un bref résumé de ses recommandations.

Il nous enjoignit de:

– cultiver les liens avec la communauté et ses acteurs, et de rebâtir les ponts brisés,

– de ne pas travailler seul,

– d’allier compétence et humanisme,

– de se souvenir du chemin des pionniers,

– et enfin, de transmettre et rayonner.

J’espère que nous saurons, en sa mémoire, faire honneur à ses sages conseils, pour des soins palliatifs de qualité et empreints de compassion.”

Canadian Society of Palliative Medicine:

“The Canadian Society of Palliative Medicine wishes to acknowledge the incredible contributions made by Dr Bernard Lapointe to the field of palliative care. Bernard was known for his warmth, his kindness, his inclusivity, and his clarity of vision. He constantly promoted everyone around him to strive to do more, do better, and be the best they could be while making the discipline of palliative medicine stronger. Dr. Lapointe was president of the Board of the CSPM from 2010 – 2016 and recipient of the Lifetime Achievement Award in 2017. He is cherished by many members of the CSPM as someone who guided and promoted them throughout their careers. He epitomized what it means to be a leader, a trail blazer, a colleague and a friend. He will be missed by everyone in the field of palliative care. However, his many contributions will live on as his legacy.”

Deborah Salmon, MUHC music therapist (retired):

“I first met Bernard when he came to work with our palliative care team at the old Royal Victoria Hospital. Bernard made a cold splash of a first impression. He informed the nurses that they shouldn’t expect him to arrive before 10 AM and declined to meet with me for a scheduled in-service because he ‘already knew about music therapy.’ Who did this guy think he was? Well, Bernard was unique in many ways, but he proved to be a real team player with acute clinical sensibilities. We warmed to this vibrant, generous man who clearly lived large and loved life. I remember Bernard inviting the team to his fabulous home in Habitat 67 for a potluck dinner and an amazing view of Montreal’s fireworks competition. He did, as it turned out, understand music therapy, and was a big supporter of its role in palliative care. Bernard made a tremendous contribution to palliative care. He is remembered with heartfelt gratitude.”

Sylvain Néron, Ph.D., Jewish General Hospital:

“Bernard, I heard you so often telling us in clinical palliative care team meetings: ‘And, this being said . . .’

So many times, I experienced your gentle invite, a Jungian style one, suggesting that I could reach my inner self and find a way to access a healing harmony with the sufferer and relative needs.

And, this being said, Bernard, I still hear you.”

Anne Boyle, M.D.,

St. Joseph’s Health System:

“It was heartbreaking to learn of the passing of Dr. Bernard Lapointe. Palliative care in Canada has lost a leader, innovator, colleague, mentor and dear friend. Bernard was recognized for his exceptional contribution to the field of palliative care at the provincial, national and international levels. He led with compassion and grit. He had a collegial and inclusive leadership style and a unique ability to recognize potential in a variety of individuals. He always encouraged new skill development and was single-handedly responsible for guiding the careers of many leaders in the field of palliative care in Canada. He never wavered from his commitment to compassion, kindness, academic and clinical excellence and innovation, or from his commitment to Roc, family, music, good food, and laughter. He will be forever fondly remembered and missed.”

Harvey Chochinov, M.D., University of Manitoba:

“When I think of Bernard Lapointe, I think not so much of a single moment or event—and there were many of those over the years—but rather, of a feeling. That feeling was being welcomed, being valued; and being lucky to be spending time with this wonderful man. I will miss him; and surely, never forget him.”

Justin Sanders, M.D., Kappy and Eric M. Flanders Chair of Palliative Care, McGill University:

“Bernard was an extraordinary figure in my life: a longstanding mentor, a teacher, the model bon vivant, a dear friend. I carry always and routinely convey lessons learned from Bernard. I miss his wry, withering, and playful facial expressions, which spoke volumes. He is and will be profoundly missed and long-remembered by his community at Palliative Care McGill.”

Sharon Baxter, Executive Director of the Canadian Hospice Palliative Care Association (retired):

“I gave considerable thought to what I would say and write about my friend, Bernard Lapointe. In truth, I could write a book chapter—or even two—about some of the remarkable work and leadership shown by Bernard. In the end, I chose to highlight two examples from many years ago.

The year was 1988, and the AIDS epidemic was a crisis in Canada and around the world. The Conservative government was in power federally and was called upon to act. In response, the federal government announced the creation of the first Centre for AIDS Secretariat, attached to Health and Welfare Canada (which later became Health Canada). The question was, who could lead this new entity? Dr. Bernard Lapointe was seconded to take on this critical role. It was an exciting but very challenging time. The infection rate was soaring, the disease was poorly understood, and effective medications would not be available until a few years later. I worked on the AIDS file in the 1990’s—for the federal government, the Canadian AIDS Society (CAS), and other NGOs—and counted on Bernard to provide great vision and leadership as a community partner. While some details are blurry, I believe Bernard led this innovative work for two years before returning to AIDS and palliative care work in Montreal . . .”

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Sarah Thirlwell, Quality Improvement Specialist RN:

“In the early 2000s, I had the good fortune of collaborating with Dr. Lapointe as a Thoracic Oncology Clinical Nurse Specialist at the Jewish General Hospital. There are many memories that come to mind of him rounding on 2Main, ER, and 7West, and of fostering interprofessional teamwork and debriefing, but I wish to highlight my memory of him providing palliative care in the ICU, and how inspiring and pioneering it was. I recall his work was to ensure that patients who died in the ICU were provided a rose and the comfort that it brought to both family and staff.

I hope that his family and friends are comforted by these memories and in knowing that his legacy is far-reaching.

Sincerely,

Sarah”

James Downar, M.D., Head of the Division of Palliative Care, University of Ottawa:

“Bernard was a good friend and mentor to so many people involved in Palliative Care in Canada. He had amazing stories about how he became a palliative care physician in the 80s, providing care for people with AIDS, whom nobody else wanted to treat. His impact on the field of palliative care in Canada cannot be overstated.

What I’ll miss the most about him is the passion he applied to everything he did. Every time he told a story or answered a question, I would see his eyes light up with excitement. Sometimes, he was talking about palliative care, or a philosophy lecture he had attended. Once, he spent five minutes teaching me how to make mayonnaise (the key is the mixing technique). But it was his passion for his family, the Congress, and photography that stood out most.

Wherever he is now, I hope that he is on a patio, enjoying a glass of wine and some good food, and talking with friends about anything and everything.”

Marion Dove, M.D., Chair, McGill Department of Family Medicine:

“I worked with Dr. Lapointe as he was finishing his mandate as Flanders Chair of Palliative Medicine at McGill to launch the search for his replacement. His commitment to palliative care was unwavering; he embodied it in the full breadth of his life. I will always remember him as a joyful being whose warm smile and presence brightened up every space he entered.”

Anna Towers, M.D., former Chair, MUHC Division of Palliative Care (1999-2009); Director, LymphedemaProgramme, MUHC:

“I was shocked to hear of Bernard’s untimely death. I worked with him for over 30 years. He was a great advocate for AIDS patients in the 1980s and then for palliative care since the early 1990s. He had well-honed political instincts. He was a genius at networking and developed vast international connections. He was a mentor of mine when I started in palliative care and a wonderful role model of compassionate care. He was at his best after 11 AM!

As a passionate gardener, he seemed to have inherited his mother’s love and skill as a grower of exotic roses. The rose garden on his Habitat rooftop was a joy to behold. He was a gourmand with a vibrant joie de vivre. He knew where to get the best smoked salmon. A visit to his place was always a culinary experience, featuring exquisitely prepared hors d’œuvres.

The world has lost a great palliative care advocate and exceptional human being. My condolences to his family and friends.”

Eduardo Franco, O.C., BSc, MPH, DrPH, PhD (Hon), FRSC, FCAHS, Former Chair of the Department of Oncology at McGill (2011-2023):

“Palliative care has a rich history at McGill and Dr. Bernard Lapointe is among its most devoted and accomplished ambassadors and leaders. Dr. Lapointe was Associate Professor, Departments of Oncology and Family Medicine, McGill University. Born and raised in Quebec, Dr. Lapointe earned his medical degree at Université Sherbrooke in 1980 and underwent postgraduate training at Université de Montréal and Mildmay Mission Hospice, London; and the Princess Alice Hospice, Esher, both in the UK. Since he joined McGill and the Royal Victoria Hospital in 1991, Dr. Lapointe has been a tireless and effective advocate for palliative care . . .”

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Cory Ingram, M.D., Mayo Clinic:

“I remember Bernard’s affinity for a specific reflection at the Congress featuring the song ‘Mad World’ by Gary Jules. Bernard was always genuinely concerned about our human condition. Our first meeting was in a hotel bar in Vancouver where we enjoyed wine and conversation, sparking an annual gathering at AAHPM meetings and many meetings in Montreal in preparation for the Congress. Bernard welcomed our team and invited us for eggs benedict in his home with Roc for brunch. He was a wonderful chef. My happiest memories are from when Bernard met my children and when he invited me to come to his Elysion photography exhibit on St. Denis, in memory of his mother and in support of Hope and Cope at Jewish General Hospital, the hospital where he also hosted our teams to learn about palliative medicine. The print from his exhibit takes up a prominent space in my office at Mayo Clinic. It represents Bernard’s transcendent approach to life, relationships, and care-giving. We always talked about taking a photo walk with Linda Rutenberg and Bernard gifted me her book on the Gaspé. I love that book and the thoughtful gifts from Bernard in my home office. I wish we had taken that photo walk, and I will in his memory when I am back in Montreal. We always had a good time, conversation, and cuisine. Bernard was a gracious host. I learned a lot about life from Bernard and I appreciate and miss him deeply.

Sincerely,

Cory”

Suzanne O’Brien, Co-Chair, McGill Council on Palliative Care:

“Like all of us, I learned many lessons from Bernard, not just about palliative care, but about life. The most important was the value of conversation as a way of connecting to the people we care for. To Bernard, a consult was just a fancy term for talking to a patient or family to know what they valued most and how he could help. He saw connecting to another person as the essence of care—and he was a master at it.

Bernard was a ‘bon vivant.’ He loved conversation and if he could do it with coffee, even better! From his first day at the JGH almost 25 years ago, we had coffee and conversation multiple times a week and this continued into retirement. We talked about everything and nothing—hospital politics, healthcare politics, donors, training for volunteers, speakers and themes for the International Congress, photography, regrets, hopes, dreams, caregiving, what to cook for dinner and where to travel next! The accompanying photo is from Bernard’s last cruise in Fall 2023. It came with the text ‘let’s have coffee when we get back.’
My professional gratitude to Bernard runs deep. My memories of way too much coffee, great conversations about work and life, laughter and friendship run even deeper.

Rest in peace, my friend. You are greatly missed by so many.”

Houman Farzin, M.D., Jewish General Hospital:

“I vividly recall meeting Dr. Lapointe as a medical student. His distinctive presence and demeanor have left a lasting impression on me. I had the privilege of shadowing him during his palliative care clinic in the oncology department at the Jewish General Hospital, where I witnessed the use of medical cannabis for the first time.

Dr. Lapointe had a unique ability to foster deep, compassionate relationships with his patients—many of whom I’ve continued to follow even after his retirement a few years ago. His joie de vivrewas infectious, and I found his zest for life both inspiring and uplifting. He was also incredibly supportive of my work offering novel mental health therapies for cancer patients, which meant a lot to me.

We shared a passion for music and DJ-ing, which strengthened our bond even further. He was a kind and generous soul, leaving behind a meaningful legacy. He will be greatly missed.

Thanks,

Houman”

Bessy Bitzas, Ph.D., Associate Director of Nursing, Jewish General Hospital:

“Working with Bernard for over 20 years was one of the highlights of my career. During this time, I was not only witness to his skill as a clinician, educator, advocate and leader but also to his deep-rooted humanity. Bernard understood the value of attending to the whole person in a way which served as a model and inspiration for others. For example, ensuring that a patient’s pain was well managed was not good enough if the flowers in their room were wilted or if the bed sheet was stained. His standards were high, and his expectations of others, and especially of himself, were equally high. He will be forever remembered as a pioneer, expert and advocate for palliative care, as well as a friend, cherished colleague, mentor and role model.”

Christopher MacKinnon, Ph.D., Managing Director, Monkland Psychology:

“I am deeply grateful for Bernard and the generous support he furnished me over the years. Always with a smile on his face, he opened many doors that shaped my career. Generous and appreciative, he was the kind of leader you wanted to put the extra effort in for. His accomplishments in advancing Palliative Care in Québec and Canada cannot be understated. My sincere condolences to his family.”

David Praill, Director, e-Hospice:

“Dear Roc and family—please accept my heartfelt condolences. It was like a stab to the heart when I heard Bernard had died. I remember him so full of life, of creativity, of bon homie. Intelligent, caring, empathetic. I have one memory in particular which will remain with me. He took a few of us out for a meal in Montreal and a year later, it was my turn to return the offer when we were in Banff. Given his love for food and remarkable knowledge of cuisine, I was very nervous, hunting for a suitable place to go. We ended up at a mountain lodge outside of Banff and, to my relief, I passed! ‘Never would I have believed that an Englishman could have chosen such a great location with such excellent food’ he said—or words to that effect. I brought a small painting there which now hangs on my office wall here in London, UK, and I think of that evening each time I look at it. Bernard will be missed by all who were fortunate to have met him – however briefly. I hold you in my thoughts.”

Devon Phillips, Programme Manager of Palliative Care McGill:

“For many years, Bernard would call me from his car most mornings on his way to work. It would be around 9 AM, which was early for Bernard. We would talk about everything and nothing: favorite recipes, international music, weekend plans, events in and around Montreal (he always knew what was going on!), travel plans, and of course, gossip. And yes, we did talk about the work of running Palliative Care McGill, what had to be done and what was on his mind—Bernard was leader and a political strategist who was committed to ensuring palliative care was always on the agenda, locally, nationally and internationally.

These conversations were so rock and roll because they took place while he was driving, often dodging potholes and orange cones (his nemesis!), so there was a fair amount of cursing and careening. One year, we gave him an orange cone for his birthday and we had such a good laugh. Bernard was larger than life—he had strong opinions and convictions, cared deeply, and was creative and generous. I admire the leadership and inspiration he brought to the McGill International Congress on Palliative Care, and am happy I had the privilege to work with him to support Palliative Care McGill. He is deeply missed.”

Dale Weil, Executive Director of the Teresa Dellar Palliative Care Residence:

“We are deeply saddened by the untimely passing of Dr. Bernard Lapointe. Bernard was a tremendous supporter to and friend of the Teresa Dellar Palliative Care Residence, which opened its doors in 2002; and to the Montreal Institute for Palliative Care, which launched in 2018. He was a mentor to the late Teresa Dellar, who co-founded the Residence along with Russell Williams. Bernard served on the Residence Board for many years and chaired the Institute’s Advisory Committee until he retired. A source of inspiration, Bernard selflessly shared his time, expertise and friendship. He was an accomplished yet humble man who had a passion for palliative care, humanity in general, and good food throughout life’s journey. We will remember Bernard fondly and miss him profoundly. With gratitude for all our connections and having known you, and on behalf of the Residence and the Institute,

With great love,

Dale”

Valérie Guillet, Développement des affaires Agora:

“Lorsque je pense à Bernard, je vois un homme empathique, d’une grande bonté et d’une encore plus grande douceur. Un homme passionné d’orchidées. Un photographe qui se découvrait. Un homme cultivé, drôle, sarcastique à ses heures, amateur de fines bulles. Un homme dévoué qui a prêté sa vie professionnelle au soutien de l’humain vulnérable. Un homme qui savait dire « non », aussi. C’est Bernard qui, à la fin des années 90, m’a inspirée au bénévolat pour les personnes vivant avec le VIH. Un homme que j’ai profondément apprécié et que je remercie d’avoir été, tout simplement, lui. Salut Bernard.”

Jessica Simon, M.D., Professor, Palliative Medicine, Department of Oncology, University of Calgary:

“I am so sad to hear this news. I was fortunate to have served on the board of the then Canadian Society of Palliative Care Physicians (now CSPM) with Bernard; I was a junior member and, he, a senior statesman. He patiently and wisely guided beginners like me through the history of some of the decisions and practices of the board. But more than that, he had a great sense of humour and very good taste—I will never forget, as we paused for a lunch of wraps, he asked, ‘Why are they serving us these, it is like chewing on a damp baby’s diaper?’ I have never been able to eat a wrap since without this ringing in my ears.”

RIP,

Jessica Simon

David Henderson, M.D., Nova Scotia Health Authority:

“I had the distinct pleasure of getting to know Bernard over the last 20 years. We worked together on education initiatives and national palliative care issues while serving together on the board and executive of the Canadian Society of Palliative Medicine. Bernard was a leading scholar in palliative medicine, leaving his mark on many young and up and coming palliative medicine clinicians with his smarts, his charm, his wit and his leadership. With all his clinical and academic achievements, he was an even greater person. He was a compassionate generous man who gave much to his teams and his community. He loved good food and good conversation. He was respected not only in Canada, but around the world as a leader in palliative medicine. Today, I still frequently quote one of my favorite Bernard sayings: ‘If you’re not at the table, you’re on the menu’, which is still so true today. We will all miss you, my friend. You are remembered in our hearts.”

Dr. Yoram Singer, M.D., Israel:

“I met Bernard in 1995 during my palliative care fellowship at McGill. It took about two minutes for us to realize that we have an awful lot in common, both in our life philosophy and in our approach to medicine and patient care. He taught me, amongst other things, that feeling for a patient is not forbidden and does not interfere with good clinical practice; on the contrary, he taught me not to be afraid of my feelings, how to use them to give better patient care. These are lessons that cannot be learned from a textbook. For this, I will be eternally grateful to him. In my teachings to medical students and to residents, I always mention from whom I got these insights. After my stay at McGill, I was fortunate to meet Bernard on a number of occasions. Some years ago, he was even a guest of mine in Israel. We spent some days doing home visits on the home palliative care service. One of those days was spent on the mobile palliative care service, caring for the Bedouins living in the middle of the desert. I will miss Bernard greatly.”

Manny Borod, M.D., MUHC:

“I first met Bernard almost 25 years ago, when I began my own palliative care journey. At that time, he was recognized as an expert and palliative care. He was always extremely supportive of my wish to pursue a career in care.

After I became the Director of Palliative Care at the McGill University Health Center, I would meet Bernard regularly at the Brûlerie St. Denis and have breakfast with together.

He always had a hardy appetite.

We would discuss our programs and look for ways to promote palliative care in Quebec. He was generous with his insights, and I benefitted greatly from sharing this time with him.

We will all miss him.”

Image: Photographie par Bernard (2016), «Cordarrimages et passages», et non sans évoquer Rainer Maria Rilke : « La mort n’est pas au-delà de nos forces, elle reste la plus haute des lignes gravées sur le flanc du vaisseau. » Salut à l’amiral.

Luce Des Aulniers, Ph.D., Professeure emérite (socianthropologie des rapports à la mort et
communication-santé), Faculté de communication, UQÀM:

“Bernard et l’art de la rencontre. . . et que de rencontres! La nôtre, échelonnée sur plus de 25 ans, en connivence de palabres et d’accoudées (de la philosophie palliative jusqu’aux pauses intercalaires des Congrès internationaux McGill, qu’il animait, maestro), d’œuvres sous maints supports artistiques ou de son fait (la photographie), de vacances, de badineries rigolotes, de chagrins abrupts, de lectures toniques et en doutance du monde, et de tant d’interpellations, le tout non dénué de paradoxes douloureux. Néanmoins, en dépit de derniers mois en déréliction je crois profonde — et sur ce plan justement —la rencontre fut pour Bernard un puissant leitmotiv. Tant de personnes peuvent en témoigner . . .”

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Patrick Durivage and Zelda Frietas, social workers, Caregiver Grief Connexion:

“Dr. Bernard Lapointe welcomed us into the field of palliative care as partners of care. He was a true advocate and eternal teacher to students, staff and volunteers. At the McGill Council of Palliative Care, he actively participated in the volunteer trainings and always gave his time despite his busy schedule. He always made sure that the Council was active in disseminating information to the public for better access to this care. Dr Lapointe liked to challenge people around him to pull together the amazing McGill International Palliative Care Congress. He made sure to invite international partners to learn from each other. He also recognized the need to develop palliative care for individuals in context of vulnerability.

Merci Bernard d’avoir ouvert la porte aux travailleurs sociaux pour obtenir une journée thématique sur leurs soins au Congrès. Nous te serons éternellement reconnaissants pour ta contribution et ton soutien envers les soins psychosociaux dans le dernier chapitre de vie des citoyens.”

Vivian Myron, palliative care social worker:

“Bernard was an exceptional man, doctor, colleague and mentor. Bernard put palliative care on the map at the Jewish General Hospital and internationally. He created the first integrated palliative care service in the JGH oncology clinics. This is now standard practice. It was an honour to have worked with Bernard at the Jewish for close to 20 years. Bernard made the most original and aesthetically beautiful cakes that we all enjoyed. His impact reverberates around the world and for all who knew him. May he rest in peace.”

Carla Alexander, M.D., Director of Palliative Care for IHV Clinical Programs, University of Maryland:

“Dr. Bernard Lapointe was a Renaissance physician—a strategist, an educator, and a home-maker extraordinaire. During the early war on HIV, Bernard’s pointed questions helped shape and extend comfort internationally. He treasured his spouse and petit chien and enjoyed heated discussions in their living room with old and new friends. As a witness for his marriage, we shared an exquisite meal prepared by a preeminent Montreal chef. I miss him daily.”

Shelly Cory, Executive Director, Canadian Virtual Hospice:

“Bernard will be remembered as a gifted clinician, proud Francophone and a passionate, visionary leader whose commitment to diversity, equity and inclusion in palliative care was decades ahead of its time. Bernard challenged us to dig deeper, strive further, and to recognize that while progress in palliative care may look different in other parts of the world, there was much to learn from each other and to celebrate. A big personality, with an even bigger heart and a legacy that encircles the globe, Bernard is a giant on whose shoulders so many of us stand. I’m incredibly grateful for Bernard’s support of Canadian Virtual Hospice, for his friendship, for who he was and all he accomplished to change the landscape of palliative care and Canada and around the world. Rest easy, dear friend.

With gratitude and respect,

Shelly”

Heather Brooks-Hill, the EQUINOX project:

“Bernard was a shining light, a humble soul who had time for everyone. I benefited immensely from this very fine human being. His encouragement and advice inspired me to do more in my hospice/palliative care work. I am very grateful! R.I.P. Bernard.”

Romayne Gallagher, M.D., palliative care physician (retired)

“Bernard was always an incredibly gracious and welcoming man. While he knew palliative care scholars from all over the world, he never missed a chance to say hello to me. We collaborated on one paper and that was a real pleasure. His memory brings hope to me.”

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