As you cross over free space
I shall help you as much as I can
Just like you came bravely alone
So must you go bravely alone.
I hold your hand and speak
ever so in hushed tones
I adjust your pillows to your comfort
Keep you calm, even as the meds make you sleep.
Maybe you feel it’s all so still and quiet
Maybe you think we want you to sleep
to keep you quiet ….because we are tired.
You may not be aware of your agitation
A restlessness as if the earth itself is shaking
needing to be calmed, like still waters.
We missed your lunch, sometimes dinner,
for fear of taking away the peace
So, we simply watched you slumber
fearing, hesitant to disturb your dream
in case you were dreaming
For your gentle breathing as it rose and dropped
The belly of an innocent infant in sleep.
It feels you are letting go -going back into
A much bigger womb – we call the universe
In spite of rustling leaves, tweeting birds
In spite of the whir of a fan and distant sounds.
We can hear our own breath as yours stills
As your sleep and stillness fill the room.
As you cross over free space
There is a prayer in our hearts
As divine, unseen presence of
God and angels, with open welcome arms
reach down to lift you into their embrace
Your heart stops to beat, it’s no more.
About the poet:
Dr. Mrs. Rama Sivaram (Ph.D) is a vibrant and inspiring individual who wears multiple hats. She is a health educator counsellor, a massage therapist, a consultant in social research and interventions in health care-KEM Hospital Research Centre, Pune, a faculty and counselor educator with Sanjeevani Liife beyond Cancer, and a member of Nag Foundation.
She has been working on oncology for the over 20 years now after her own brush with cancer. She volunteers her services to cancer and palliative care so that she can return to society and be with those in pain. She loves sharing her experiences through writing. She can be reached at ramasivaram@gmail.com.
Speechless I am at the sensitivity with which you addressed this- delicately treading on each aspect of this otherwise seen as a remorse subject and still keeping the vibrancy and the beauty alive..
So beautifully written! This captures the essence of the caregiver and brings to light the juxtaposition of grief and hope.
Rama…I am at awe of these lines..as I was reading each line , I almost saw the person you are saying these lines to..
You have imagined every feeling a person will go through and very poignantly expressed them..
I would love to read this poem to our Rotary members one evening..
Rama thanks for sharing these very moving lines which you have penned with great sensitivity and insight. I hope when the time comes for me to transition someone as caring and compassionate as you will be there to hold my hand ! God bless you Rama for your kind heart