The Rocking-Horse Project (RHP) works closely with the hospital’s Palliative Care (PC) nurses. Our RHP play coordinator is stationed in the children’s ward, which admits only children from 0 to 12 years, so we are often unaware of the children between 13 and 18 who are admitted in the adult wards. That’s where the partnership with the PC nurses plays a vital role, as they request RHP assistance when the older children needing our help are admitted in other wards.
Mbali (*not her real name) was admitted to the National Referral Hospital after having been in two other health facilities. She was diagnosed with an intra-abdominal mass. When we first met her, we were heartbroken as she cringed in pain and so evidently displayed her agony. With the drug shortages being experienced in the public health facilities, the Doctors tried their best by prescribing the only pain medication that was available. The PC nurse contacted the RHP requesting us to meet and assist the patient. RHP met the patient and parents assuring them that we were going to help and would be there to support them. We quickly contacted a private pharmaceutical supplier with the Doctor’s prescription for morphine. The next day they were delivered and given to the patient.
When the RHP play coordinator visited the patient the next day, the mom expressed her thanks and relief that her child had no pain. For the first time in days, Mbali was relieved from pain and had slept well the night before. The mother explained that soon after the medication was given, there was relief from the pain. The following day when we walked into the ward and saw Mbali’s bed empty, our hearts sank. The nurses then informed us that Mbali passed away. We were shocked at how quickly it all happened having seen her the day before. We are constantly reminded that we need to make the most of today, the present, as we don’t know what tomorrow holds.
Later when we contacted the family to check in on them. Mbali’s father answered our call and was so grateful to hear from our play coordinator as he thought people had forgotten about them. As is normally the case, after the funeral, everyone continues on with their lives while the grieving family is left to face the reality of the situation. The father explained that he finds it so hard to talk about Mbali to her siblings. The effect of her passing on the siblings is tough for the father. He went on to share that the notion that ‘men don’t cry’ is completely false and that trying to keep it in is emotionally draining and not healthy. He appreciated the support and call from the RHP saying it means a lot for us to have someone to talk to after the funeral’.
The pain of losing a child is beyond explanation and truly one only understands what this long process of grief is when personally experienced.
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