Following the death of her mother to cancer in 2008, Kim recognised the importance of capturing images of loved ones in the last moments of their lives and decided to develop a professional end of life and after death photographic service.
“As a culture we photograph all sorts of rites of passages, from birth to birthdays, engagements and weddings, so why not deaths?” Kim told ehospice.
When faced with the news that her great aunt was terminally ill, the photographer decided to collect professional images of her during and after the dying process, regretting that she had not done the same during her mother’s last months and days.
A gallery of the powerful black and white images as well as an insightful blog about her experience have been posted on the GroundSwell Project, as part of their Dying To Know initiative.
The website, which uses the arts to promote resilience and well-being through all phases of life, are keen to share stories, knowledge and information about death, dying and bereavement.
Justifying her reasons for capturing the images, Kim said: “Making public photographs like these ones of my dying and deceased Great Aunt, is putting death in our faces…where it should be! We cannot pretend forever that death isn’t going to come for us or a loved one at some point, and we cannot deny forever that there can be beauty in death too.”
ehospice asked Kim what the reaction had been to her images. She said: “My story and accompanying images have been very well received. I suspect that people are almost relieved to hear someone talk about ‘it’ and, as the ‘hits’ on The GroundSwell Project indicate, it’s growing in popularity. I hope that by sharing these images I help to shed some of the fear around photographing and talking about death.”
The GroundSwell project is just one of a growing number of websites and social media sites that are opening up conversations about death and dying. The Conversation Project based in the US is dedicated to helping people talk about their wishes for end of life care.
The website states: “It’s time to transform our culture so we shift from not talking about dying to talking about it. It’s time to share the way we want to live at the end of our lives. And it’s time to communicate about the kind of care we want and don’t want for ourselves.”
Jim Siegel is the Vice President and Director of Marketing & Communications for the HealthCare Chaplaincy Network, New York. The organisation is a leader in the research, education and practice of multifaith spiritual care within health care and palliative care.
He thinks the use of social media can benefit those who are dying as well as educating the public: “The use of social media, especially Twitter and Facebook since they are concise and can be written and posted quickly, are an easy way for those who are seriously ill or their family members to share their thoughts and experiences about dying that usually are hidden behind the curtain of the typical ‘American Way of Death’.”
He continued: “I believe all this is a great positive for public education, because it sheds light on the denial that almost all of us have about death. I’m hopeful that this use of social media is prompting more people to have the dialogue with loved ones about what they want for their end of life care and to put their wishes in writing.”
Jim’s colleague, Sue Wintz, a board certified chaplain believes that social media can offer a different type of community for people to engage with: “For many persons, knowing where to turn for information and help can be difficult and social media provides one avenue. Those who tweet, blog, and provide websites not only share their own experiences, but often unknowingly bring a sense of hope to those who are searching for a community. Social media can and does meet persons’ needs for by providing medical, emotional, and spiritual insight and resources.”
George Handzo, president of Handzo Consulting and Senior Consulting at HealthCare Chaplaincy, happened to hear Scott Simon on NPR radio talking about how powerful and helpful it was for him to be able to Tweet from his mother’s bedside as she was dying and even after she died. He said: “(This) helped him tremendously with his own grieving. I think an underlying message of this topic being on social media is that this is now a topic that can be discussed in the most public of settings instead of one which is shunned or, at best, discussed in hushed tones behind closed doors. This will help tremendously in facilitating the conversations between health care providers, including chaplains, and patients and families which will, in turn, help people have the kind of death that they truly want.”
More of Kim Ryder’s work can be viewed online.
A series by David and Deborah Oliver, which has been extremely helpful to patients with cancer and their families, can be accessed on Youtube.
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