CHAS Christmas appeal aims to give families of dying children the gift of time and memories

Children’s Hospices Across Scotland (CHAS) has launched its 2024 Christmas Appeal to secure much needed donations that will give the gift of time and precious memories to the families of dying children.

Three children across Scotland die of incurable conditions each week. The charity is determined to reach every single child who needs its help through the CHAS Christmas Appeal, which includes a radio advert and television advert depicting the heartbreak faced by families whose children die young.

Iain McAndrew, Director of Income Generation and Engagement, Fundraising and Communications at CHAS, said: “We know that the number of children living with life-shortening conditions is increasing as is the demand for our services. CHAS is determined to ensure that as many families as possible enjoy precious time together filled with happiness and joy this Christmas.

“We are committed to continuing to provide unwavering support to children and families right across Scotland from the point of diagnosis right through to bereavement, but this would not be possible without our generous supporters who give love and strength to those in the greatest need. This is why we are appealing to the kindness of the Scottish public to donate what they can this Christmas to help us ensure that no-one has to face the death of their child alone.”

CHAS Case Study

One parent who will always be grateful to CHAS for the cherished memories she was able to make with her daughter is Kate Miller from Arbroath.

Although Christmas is a time of mixed emotions for Kate, whose eight-year-old daughter Cally died on December 8 2018, she is able to look back fondly on all the many happy times she spent with Cally at CHAS’s Rachel House hospice in Kinross.

She said: “We were lucky enough to enjoy two Christmas stays together there. Going there always made me feel like getting a warm hug, especially at Christmas-time.

“When you spend Christmas at Rachel House the nurses and all the staff go out of their way to make it the most special time for all the children staying as well as their siblings, parents and other family members.

“The hospice is full of love and laughter at Christmas – it’s a truly magical time. The whole place is beautifully decorated with tinsel everywhere. Santa comes for a visit, there’s a big Christmas tree with colourful twinkling lights and festive songs and films are played throughout the day. There are special arts and crafts for the kids like making your own stockings and the kitchen staff bake the most delicious Christmas cookies for everyone to enjoy.

“Christmas Day itself is always really special. The last Christmas we spent there Cally and I were made such a fuss of and given lovely presents to open with all the other families and we even had beautiful birds of prey come to visit us on Christmas morning!

“Everyone has Christmas dinner together round the Rachel House table with staff. If we were at home it would just be Cally and I on our own and I’d have to do her physio and all her care but at the hospice I could just be mum so we could enjoy the day together, opening presents and having lovely cuddles.”

Tragic accident left healthy youngster brain damaged

Cally was first referred to Rachel House a year after suffering an accident in a pool on holiday in Spain when she was just four years old. The tragedy left the previously healthy youngster brain damaged, wheelchair-bound and with quadriplegic cerebral palsy. She was also unable to talk and had to be tube-fed.

Cally spent the next whole year in various hospitals with her devoted mum Kate by her side. When she was eventually discharged from hospital Kate had to become Cally’s full-time carer.

Kate said: “I was happy to care for my beautiful girl but as she could no longer talk or smile or walk as she had before it was as if she was locked inside her body which was heartbreaking.”

After nine months of giving Cally 24-hour care all on her own Kate became very exhausted which is when CHAS stepped in to offer home care and respite visits to Rachel House.

“I was so grateful for the support. The CHAS At Home visits were fantastic, the girls were so lovely and would take Cally on walks or to the cinema or do sensory activities with her – they became like part of our family.

Fear of hospices turned to joy

“I must admit I was quite scared about going to the hospice for the first time,” recalls Kate.

“I didn’t want to think about going to a place that was about saying goodbye to Cally but, as soon as we walked through the doors we were greeted with warm smiles and we felt at home and among family. We instantly felt happy there and it became our safe place and somewhere to make the most special memories together.”

Despite not being able to communicate as she had before her accident, Kate could tell Cally was at her happiest when she was at Rachel House.

“Cally would let me know she was happy in her own little way. I could tell by her eyes and she would make lots of little contented sounds when she was there, especially when there was music playing, especially Disney music or Frozen songs or when the staff would do sensory play with her. Cally was always happy at Rachel House and so was I as I could stop being her carer for a little while and just relax and be her mum.”

Making treasured memories

A very special moment Kate will forever cherish was when CHAS brought Cally and her mum together in the hospice pool for the first time.

Kate said: “I had not been in the water with Cally since her accident so there were a lot of tears when CHAS physiotherapist Helen handed her over to me in the pool for a special embrace. We stayed like that, hugging each other for a long time, it was so special.”

Cally and Kate enjoyed many respite visits to Rachel House and were even there a few days before Cally sadly died in December 2018.

Kate recalls: “We had enjoyed a really good stay at Rachel House. Cally had enjoyed using an Eyegaze (a special eye-tracking technology device) for the first time and we were looking forward to spending Christmas together at home.”

Forever grateful to CHAS

Unfortunately, just two days later Cally became unwell and had to be admitted to Ninewells Hospital. Cally’s condition continued to deteriorate and she sadly died a few days later.

“I was devastated, completely heartbroken and hysterical with grief and could not come to terms with what had happened,” Kate recalls.

“Thankfully one of the nurses, Diane, from Rachel House came to the hospital to be with me and helped make arrangements for Cally to be transferred to Rachel House. I will forever be grateful to CHAS for scooping me up when I was so heartbroken and once again giving me the biggest hug I needed at that time.”

Cally was wrapped in her favourite Disney blanket and taken to the Rainbow Room at Rachel House where staff sang her favourite songs to her and read her favourite Julia Donaldson books to her.

“We stayed there for ten days until Cally’s funeral, which the staff helped me arrange, looking after me the whole way through it all. The Activities Team did lots of memory making such as getting hand and foot casts made and placing locks of Cally’s hair in a little card, tied with a beautiful bow for me to give family members. One of the team, Jemma, also pleated her hair on the day of her funeral, just the way she liked it. They thought of everything.

‘While Cally was in the Rainbow Room I spent some time reflecting in the beautiful hospice gardens and was surprised to see a ladybird crawling towards me in the snow. Ever since then I have felt that ladybirds are a sign that Cally is near. This led me to create a ladybird design for Cally’s CHAS Alphabet letter in her memory.”

Cally’s funeral took place on 18th December, just seven days before Christmas.

CHAS helped to process my grief

Kate said: “At a time when other families were buying last minute festive gifts for each other and looking forward to being together I was attending the cremation of my only child, my beautiful daughter. I was heartbroken and if it hadn’t been for the staff at Rachel House I don’t think I would have got through it.

“The funeral was conducted by CHAS chaplain, Monica who went above and beyond in the run up to it, on the day and afterwards too. I will forever be grateful to her for her kindness and to all the hospice staff for lining up in respect to make a guard of honour as Cally left her favourite place for the final time.

“A special song that the musician from Rachel House, who is also called Rachel, wrote with Cally previously, entitled “You’re Gonna See My Eyes Roll” (to the lyrics of Katie Perry’s Roar) was played at the funeral which was so touching. It was so Cally as anyone who knew her knew how much she loved an eye roll!

“All the staff at the hospice carried me through my grief with their kindness and gave me the strength I needed to say goodnight to my beautiful daughter.

“They helped me arrange for a hand cast of both mine and Cally’s hands to be made to show we will be forever holding hands.”

Kate, who has made lots of friends with other parents through CHAS, continues to receive bereavement support from the charity.

She said: “This Christmas I will buy Cally a special gift as I always do and will remember all the beautiful memories we made together and the wonderful festive fun we had together at Rachel House. I hope as many people as possible donate to the CHAS Christmas Appeal so that even more families can make many wonderful memories together, just as we did.”

To donate to CHAS’s 2024 Christmas Appeal please visit: www.chas.org.uk/appeal.

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About CHAS

• Children’s Hospices Across Scotland (CHAS) provides unwavering care to children who may die young and their families, at every step on this hardest of journeys.
• We provide support in the early days after a child is diagnosed with a life-shorting condition. Having a very ill child means a family’s life changes enormously, and we are there to help every family member emotionally, clinically, and practically.
• We provide integrated palliative and end of life care as well as respite care for the whole family in our two hospices, Rachel House in Kinross and Robin House in Balloch.
• Our outreach team operates in every local authority area – providing highly skilled nursing care for children in their own homes (often in partnership with local teams), as well as a full family support service. This includes social work, income maximisation, energy advice, spiritual and bereavement support, transition to adult services for 16 – 21s, and therapeutic play.
• There is a joint CHAS/NHS specialist team in every children’s hospital in Scotland. The only specialist Paediatric Palliative Medicine posts in Scotland are funded by CHAS. Our Diana Children’s Nurses provide specialist support alongside the NHS in Glasgow, Edinburgh and Aberdeen.
• We are there at the end of life, supporting children to die with dignity, in accordance with their and their parents’ wishes and we also help in the difficult days after a child dies and can offer bereavement support in the years ahead.
• The wonderful letters which form our logo are created by the children and families that use our services.
• Follow CHAS on Twitter and Instagram: @supportCHAS, or like us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/supportCHAS
• For further information, visit CHAS at www.chas.org.uk.