ehospice is pleased to share a special collection of photographs from Ashgate Hospice that tell real stories about death and dying. These images, captured by the talented Billy Bye, offer a look at the experiences of our patients, as well as the incredible staff and volunteers who support them.
Talking about death and dying can be tough and even a bit uncomfortable. It’s a topic many of us prefer to avoid, but it’s so important to face it openly and honestly.
With Life’s Final Chapter, we’re inviting you into a special collection of photographs that tell real stories about death and dying. .
The photos are accompanied by the personal stories of those featured, providing a deeper understanding of the joys and challenges that come with life’s final chapter. Through their generous participation, our patients, families, and team members have allowed us to share a rare glimpse into what it means to live fully, even as life draws to a close.
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Here we meet Colin Boynton, Alan Cohen and Georgia Crapper.
Colin Boynton, 64
Colin was inspired to work in hospice care following the death of his husband Frank from cancer in 2017.
“Since my partner’s death I no longer take things for granted as life can be turned upside down and changed in an instant. Death has taught me to be true to myself and to be kind to myself.
“When I think about the lessons I’ve learned from death, I feel gratitude because out of a sad experience I have found out so much about human nature and life. I think the biggest lesson I have learnt is that death is the hardest thing in life we have to deal with, and we never really get over it, just learn how to live with it.
“I appreciate the smaller things in life more now than ever – especially nature and the world around us. And nothing is so bad that I cannot overcome it with time and patience. I’ve had to tell myself that it’s okay to cry – even in public, let it out regardless because keeping it shut away does not make things better and can only make things worse. Talking is important too; I talk about my partner whenever I can and not shut out the memories we made together.
“Death is inevitable and we cannot escape it. It has also built up a special faith in me and I feel certain that death is not the end but the start of something new.”
“I’m just here today that’s all there is to it – there’s nothing much you can do about it. You’ve just got to accept it.
“I’ve never really understood this thing about people crying and screaming because they’re dying; it happens to everyone inevitably.
“You ruminate about what’s happened in the past and keep thinking about things that you’ve done, things you could have done better, and the mistakes you’ve made.
“Nothing is ever perfect in life; you mustn’t grumble. You’ve just got to get on with it.
“They say you’re born, you live and you die – that’s about all there is to it. You can drive yourself crackers if you think too much about the meaning of life.
“Life’s there – you can spend years looking for the meaning of it but you won’t find it.”
Since these photos were taken, we are saddened to share that Alan has died. We are honoured to have shared his story.
“My whole life changed overnight when my mum became unwell and that taught me to try the best I can to live just for today and embrace the happier moments. It’s shown me just how much I can endure and survive, which is far more than I ever believed I could.
“I still feel a huge amount of sadness, but there are also moments of hope. I have hope that I can live with and not be consumed by the immense loss I suffered. I also feel a lot of love when it comes to death, which might sound strange. Even though I have lost the most important person in my world, the love remains.
“Sometimes I feel guilty that I am alive and I got to carry on living when my mum didn’t. I try to accept that everything I feel is very real to me and I need to allow it and not try to push it away or escape it.
“A lot of people still find death an uncomfortable topic of conversation. There are people who will quite literally expect you to move on and be happy, but grief and loss is a unique journey for each person, and it has no time limit.
“Death provided me with a major shift in my identity. Quite literally, nothing is the same for me now. I am much more of a realist now. I am more willing to share my thoughts and opinions without fear of judgement or being disliked. The ‘me’ before death was much more of a people pleaser, but I don’t want to waste time being someone I’m not just to be liked or to fit in.
“I hope to leave a very small corner of this world a little bit better because of the way I choose to live my life today. At the end of it all, what really matters is how we make people feel and hopefully, if you spend time with me, you feel better and not worse.”
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