I am here.
I am here in this day,
for now, this is all I have, your careful, caring hands, attending to my needs
with compassion,
my hours contain a life time, past stories to relay before my relapse,
a repose and slumber
deep, unwakeful,
the hour will come when
I will never return to the now,
How can we help one another? I fear for your burden,
as you carry me,
emotionally, physically…
as your touch soothes my pain, my fear, my many bruises,
my yearning for more life,
or… less,
you tell me this is not a heavy thing,
In fact you came to the bedside of the dying to sing,
whilst the sun shone,
or did it rain?
I felt that deep warmth and joy
of life again,
the comfort of knowing,
you have such passion in your role, brings me the serenity to let
go, this is all I wish to say,
that dying is not to be feared, here in this sanctuary, this Hospice with love all around, and all the respect for me,
the woman in the side room filled with laughter and such love and some tears,
as I tell tales of my interesting life,
though the letting go is easier for some,
it comes to us all, the day the fight is done, and we have had that peaceful passing,
the good death,
because of you dearest
Nurse, Carer, Doctor, the
Worker who has given your time, nurturing, and always love,
In that love… life goes on,
I know I will not be forgotten.
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Editors note:
This poem is the first in a book of the same name which is obtainable on amazon here.
To read more about Rosie’s story with its focus on living with multiple complex health conditions go to her latest article for ehospice UK edition
She is launching her book of poetry on April 19th at 3pm with food, music and readings in the Bolton Hospice, outpatients Unit, Well being Hub. Details can be found here: https://www.boltonhospice.org.uk/events/book-launch-fundraiser
“I am here” has 42 poems in it, some of which have been previously published in International poetry journals such as Orbis, Pennine Ink and The Friend (which is the main Quaker journal) et al.
Some are written specifically FOR The Hospice, where Rosie has been an inpatient four times in the last three and a half years.
“The Hospice has given me life, helped me live much longer than my end stage heart failure, lung fibrosis, liver congestion and kidney problems ever could have given me.
They support partners like my wife Chris to cope and keep living with the daily threat of death hanging over us.”
Rosie says:
The title poem I AM HERE was written for the Hospice Doctors and Nurses.
The book was organised and edited by a friend, a retired Professor of poetry who died in January just before the book came out.
Bolton Hospice needs four and a half million pounds to run every year. Since Covid they have had only two and a half so i want to help as much as i can.
Fund raising for them has become my focus.
Every Hospice in the country is struggling. Many will close due to lack of funds.
This is an invisible tragedy as Hospices are not just for cancer or dying!! They give life and extra time,joy and hope. They are unique and we must not lose them. Bolton Hospice hub has become a focus for many groups who need a warm space, tea, coffee, love and support. Bolton hub offers it all. Tues,wed,thurs its PACKED!!
So my book celebrates the Hospice and staff, and i hope to sell many copies and present Leigh Vallance CEO with a large sum of money!!”
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