Mother’s Day can cause a tidal wave of grief for those who have lost their own mother figure, or for mothers who have lost a baby or child. Treetops Hospice has shared advice and guidance on how you can cope at this time of year.
Whether the death was recent or many years ago, Mother’s Day can be tough when many others will be celebrating. Treetops Therapeutic Services Counsellor, Julie Wright, explained that sometimes the lead up to Mother’s Day can be worse than the day itself:
“Anniversaries and celebratory days can be hard for someone who’s experiencing grief. There are cards in the shops and people are talking about making plans to celebrate.
“It is difficult to avoid those things so you may wish to do shopping in a different way if you really can’t face them. But even just talking this through with somebody can be helpful and can help alleviate those fears.”
Other advice shared by the hospice includes:
Acknowledge the day and its impact on you
- It is likely to be a more challenging day than normal. You may want to be on your own, being quiet and reflective. Or you may want company and to share memories. It’s important to do what feels right for you.
Be kind to yourself
- Give yourself permission to put yourself first and be compassionate with your own feelings. It is okay to not be okay. Don’t expect too much of yourself and allow yourself to feel those emotions.
Remember the person who has died
- Consider what you might like to do to either think about your mum, or celebrate your mum, on Mother’s Day. This might be connected to places that you’ve been or things you’ve done together. Find ways to connect with their memory in ways that feel special to you.
- There are many ways to remember your loved one. You could light a candle, plant something in the garden, write your feelings down in a card, or do something you used to enjoy doing together.
- Online tributes can also be a helpful way of reflecting on how much your loved one meant to you. Perhaps post a message or photo on social media or share a video with family and friends.
“At Treetops, we understand that everyone grieves differently,” Julie continues.
“Everyone feels emotion and grief when they’ve had a bereavement and that’s normal. Treetops is here so if you are one of those people that feels like you need a bit of extra help, then please contact us.”
Treetops Hospice counsellors support children, young people and adults impacted by bereavement. Last year, the hospice provided over 4,500 hours of bereavement counselling, including over 900 sessions for children and young people.
For further information about Treetops services visit www.treetops.org.uk or call 0115 949 6944.
This year, Treetops Hospice is celebrating 40 years of caring for people and their families in the local community. During this time, the hospice has supported thousands of patients with end-of-life nursing care and bereavement counselling.
Photo caption: Julie Wright, Therapeutic Services Counsellor, Treetops Hospice
About Treetops Hospice
Treetops Hospice, the leading end-of-life care charity in Derby, Derbyshire and Nottinghamshire, provides nursing care and emotional support for adults with life-limiting conditions, and their families.
The charity provides support from diagnosis onwards for patients with conditions such as cancer, motor neurone disease and heart and respiratory conditions.
This year, we are very proud to be celebrating 40 years of caring for people and their families in our local community. During this time, we have supported thousands of patients with end-of-life nursing care and bereavement counselling.
We have achieved this amazing milestone thanks to our dedicated volunteers who help across the whole hospice and in our charity shops, our hard-working staff team, and our supporters, past and present.
Last year, our team of Hospice at Home nurses provided over 20,000 hours of care to terminally-ill patients, working day and night to give much-needed support.
Our team of bereavement counsellors provided over 4,500 counselling sessions – more than 900 of them to children and young people. Wellbeing team members provide valuable information and support to those who need it.
Treetops is doing all it can to continue to support those in most need and welcomes donations to ensure the future of the hospice and its services: www.treetopshospice.org.uk/donate
A counselling session for a bereaved child costs £34.50. An overnight Hospice at Home nursing shift for a patient at the end of life costs £108.
Treetops Hospice, Derby Road, Risley, Derbyshire, DE72 3SS
0115 949 1264 | www.treetopshospice.org.uk
Registered Charity Number 519540